I'd trust a search engine's instincts over mine any day, and particularly on any Friday night. Picture this: After two Cosmopolitans that average-looking guy in the corner of the bar seems half-attractive under the semi-flattering lighting. After three Cosmopolitans his smile becomes sexy. After four, you don't notice his smoky breathe, yellowing teeth and receding hairline as he licks his dry lips and glides towards you. But luckily after five your best friend manages to pull the two of you apart and puts you in a taxi homeward bound.
Now, had I given online dating a try I'd have saved myself a diamante clutch worth drinks, pins and needles in my feet after standing for five hours in my two-hour Christian Laboutin heels, months of teasing from my closest friends for kissing yet another frog and years of therapy analysing the bad dating decisions I seem to keep making after a Cosmopolitan or five.
A search engine on the other hand spits out results quicker than I can fit into my skinny jeans. Fast, simple, accurate, and hangover free. The search starts off with something as simple as an age, gender and location. Hard to believe you could find your perfect match with those three criteria, but after the search engine has worked its algorithmic magic, it spews out a gallery of beaming smiles, seductive smirks and cheeky prologue – all eagerly awaiting to be contacted.
The beauty of online dating lies in the actuality that it allows you to screen your next date. With a few simple clicks I reject the candidates I feel aren't compatible, accept the ones who are and avoid all those cheesy pickup lines from greasy guys in seedy bars. When you find someone you're interested in getting to know better, you can actually get to know them. No shouting over loud music, squinting to read his lips as he tries to explain that he can't eat the bar nuts you're practically shoving at him because he'll go into anaphylactic shock.
Get to know your next date from the comfort and safety of your own home before you venture out in those six-inch Manolos or fork out half your pay check on a three-course meal at a five-star restaurant with someone you randomly met the night before. Online dating makes sense when you think about all the wasted drinks, introductions, flirtations that lead to a string of mismatched evenings and growing disillusionment. Get to know your next date online, and know for sure that you're perfectly matched.
