You're obsessed over every comma, reworked, reworded and had your editor (aka best mate) cast her sharp eye over every email you sent to StarGeezer28. Oh yes, your witty, off the cuff (ha...yeah, right) repartee did the trick - StarGeezer28 thinks that TopTotty26 is a consummate conversationalist with a sharp tongue and even sharper mind. Job done, now it's time to meet in the flesh...without the linguistic luxury of cut, edit, paste and delete.
Eeek, you'll be at the mercy of your mouth, which, let's face it, in stressful situations has a tendency to project the stuttering and stumbling outer you rather than the true erudite and entertaining inner you. So, how can you be sure that your don't blow your carefully constructed image with crass comments and careless whispers?
Nobody's suggesting that a first date should be approached like an exam, but a little revision never did anyone any harm. Avoid aching silences by arming yourself with a few sure-fire conversation starters. Re-read his dating profile for clues. If you know he's a fan of Motown music and that he loves to lounge in lederhosen (hmm, we all have our quirks...but really, are you sure you want to follow this one through?), not only will you be able to crank the wheels of conversation with an insightful question or two, you'll also earn yourself a big fat tick in the pro points column (don't for a second think it's just you who's keeping score).
Now, you might not normally be a news hound, but knowledge is power. There's no need to stay up all night watching News 24, but at least watch the headlines. Make sure that you know who's at war with who (yes, countries as well as celebrities), and what scandal is currently sending poor old Gordon into a twitching melt-down. That way, you can drop a topical titbit a into the conversation before carefully sneaking back to to firmer ground. As all the best politicians know, a good sound bite and a bit of spin is all it takes to appear confident, intelligent and knowledgeable.
Now you can talk the talk – put a sock in it. Yes, half the art of being a good conversationalist is being a good listener, so zip it and let him give you a good grilling.
And finally, by all means write some conversational ideas down before your date, but never take your notes with you ...the rustling of paper is absolutely and unequivocally forbidden.
Katherine Wells
