If you're new to online dating, you may get caught up in the excitement and sometimes sheer volume of the number of single women who are ready to date. If you do, just remember that when you communicate with a potential match, you may be doing it through your inanimate computer, but that doesn't mean that who you're replying to isn't a person.
Don't reply to too many women at once, and DON'T use a generic response. Sending out the same email to 50 prospective matches may save you some time, but it probably won't get you any replies. It'll be even worse if the women you reply to actually know each other – you may find your profile on Don'tDateHim.com as a result (yes, women are a little sensitive, and vengeful, when they think they're being played). To begin with, choose a handful of profiles to contact and read through each one carefully. Compose your response based on what you read by asking questions and sharing experiences. For example, if she's "well-travelled", share some of the places you've been to with her and then ask her what her favourite place is.
If she loves going to the movies, ask her who her favourite actress is or what her favourite movie is – you can always follow this up with a debate around the talent or box office ratings. Asking questions helps you start a conversation and in turn builds communication.
Women are very sensitive when it comes to being respected. And they're even more sensitive when it comes to how you address them. Their names aren't "baby", "sexy", "cutie" or "sweetie". You wouldn't want her to call you "big daddy" on your first date would you? Well, maybe you would, but that's a whole different conversation, and one that should be left for a later stage – when both of you are ready to take the relationship to a more intimate level. But I digress. So, use her first name and only her first name. Don't try to be cute by giving her a nickname – if she has one, she'll let you know when and if you can use it.
Once you're both comfortable and ready to swop photographs, don't get too stuck or overly complimentary. You may come across as creepy and a "dirty old man" if you stress how hot she looks in that polka-dot bikini or how silky her skin appears in that little black dress. Women have a finely tuned creep-radar. And if she's an impressively hot woman, her creep-radar will have had much training.
Play it safe by keeping compliments gentle and general conversation respectful.
Molly Stewart
